The season of love is upon us. The chocolates are lining the grocery store aisles and the conversation hearts are ready to be opened. The wine isle doesn’t seem long enough and 5 o’clock can’t come soon enough. It’s that time of year where we can take out our heart printed sweatpants and sweatshirts that make us feel cozy and warm. It’s that time when Mariah Carey is always a good choice and we have excuses to give hugs and kisses to our minis. Especially this year, when we have spent most of it isolated and zoomed. A year where our birthdays and holidays have been deprived of normalcy and festivities. A year our patience has been tested and all of us are over this whole homeschool thing. And the lead up to the Valentines Day weekend was working out in 29 degree weather and trying not complain because for some reason that seems better than working out alone in your living room.

A new year is upon us. We can take a deep breath and hope that we don’t ever have to live another year like that one EVER again. Most of us are struggling to keep our heads above water. We are walking into the new year, looking back at our holidays and wondering, “was that it?” Most of us tried to find tradition in the untraditional but it really wasn’t there. And as the year came to an end, our ability to say no to that extra glass or three of wine became a struggle. And when we bought a box of chocolates as a present and opened it on the drive home, finishing it before we got home…well fuck this year. So now we are dealing with those extra pounds which we can now call the Covid-19, let’s only hope it’s as easy to lose them as it was to gain them.

The holidays are in full swing. The lights are being hung and the trees are being decorated. Cookies are being made and wine is being drunk. This is the time of year where we pull ourselves in all different directions in hopes that we can create a magical season of Hallmark proportions. This is a season when having too many obligations is the norm and being busy makes the weeks fly by. And yet this year, we sit at home with an empty calendar and little motivation to get the holiday season cheerful. No matter how hard we try, the season is just going to come and go with little more than zoom dates and over indulgences. So instead of writing about the silver linings or the hopes of a brighter future, I am going to take a turn away from the holidays and just be a little honest.

This should be interesting. Our holiday season is fast approaching. The anxieties are building and the uncertainty is upon us. This is a season of wants and wishes that no letter to Santa can grant. Our hopes and dreams won’t come from being on the good list or being on the naughty list. We are living through this world of chaos and every day brings new challenges and new appreciations. But seriously, how in the world are we going to make it through the holiday season? How are we going to take in the holiday cheer without the carolers and Christmas parties.

I’m over it, all of it. The world is upside down and most of the time it is hard to stay grounded and level headed when the path ahead is just a cliff with the unknown and unexpected below. I suggest we all just say fuck it. I want to flush all of my expectations and predictions down the drain and a throw the middle finger at them. I need a restart to everything. I need a do over or better yet a replay. Unfortunately, those aren’t our choices or our realities right now. We are left staring down the cliff, questioning if we should jump or just stand there admiring the view.

Perfection is over rated. Perfection is something that sits on the shelf with the dinnerware you got as a wedding gift but never use. We can see it, we can feel it, but we only take it out on special occasions when we want to impress other people. But we don’t need to save perfection for anything. Lets throw it out. Lets take perfection and shatter it on the floor, watching each letter fall apart and disappear.

Life is coming at us from every direction. The moment we think we have an idea of what tomorrow might look like, well, the world spins and we end up somewhere totally different. We allow the tides to ebb and flow our emotions. The rollercoaster of everyday life is far beyond overwhelming. The bad days are bad and the good days aren’t as celebratory as we are used to. But here’s the thing, don’t be a benchwarmer. This is your life. Yes, we are living in a pandemic but this is the time to get in the game and play your heart out. Life is completely unpredictable right now, but it doesn’t mean it’s time to sit on the side lines. This is your one life, your only life you get to live. You might as well be the star player on the starting line up. It’s time to play all four quarters and give it everything you have. The world will be a better place because of you. Your attitude will show and your accomplishments will change your perspective and the perspectives of those around you.

It’s time to get off our asses. We are living in a pandemic with no end in sight. The days are blending together, the weeks are passing and the months are slowly ticking away. The dark days are surrounding us and the weight of the world is being held up by each of us individually. We are isolated and lonely. We are detached and withdrawn. Our feet aren’t grounded and the weight is heavier than we can hold, pushing us down harder and faster than ever before. Fuck it, lets put some blinders on and make it through the next 10 minutes without a worry in the world. Lets laugh and smile and look no further than the next step ahead. Lets embrace what we have and be thankful for the little things that surround us. We need to stop wishing for what’s not there and what might not come.

Well we have successfully moved into our new space. We have successfully started classes back up. We have successfully transitioned into phase 2 of our lock down, our quarantine. The successes sometimes feel far from celebratory. The ups and downs continue. As life appears to be getting easier, the challenges get harder. When I look down at the step ahead, I realize the mountain was a lot higher than I prepared for. Depression is in the air, sucking the oxygen from our breath. Anxiety is surrounding us like a hug we want out of. But every day we get up and we conquer our day. Every day we make it through moment by moment, step by step. These times are not easy, these times are not fun. And we have no guidelines for what this will look like in our near future or our distant future.

The beginning is breaking through, not with the punch I was hoping for, but with the slow climb to something new and different. I can blame it on the virus, the pandemic. I can blame it on my own transitions and hesitations. Instead, I think it’s time to just celebrate. The time has come to say good bye to a world I’ve known for the past seven years. It is time to say hello to what lies ahead. With every change there is both the door that opens and the door that closes. I just hope this door closes softly with a gentle latch. Because my next chapter has already begun. Ready or not, the studio is moving.